Newborn Must Haves Part Two: Breastfeeding

Essentials, 2012

Last night we had dinner at our friends' place and I was asked to have a peek at her baby shower registry to see if there was anything she was missing. The truth is I am probably the wrong person to ask as my necessities might read something like this: 5 white onesies; Swedish wooden blocks. The end. The idea of a million specialized baby products generally freaks me out.

But in truth, there is some great "stuff" out there that I found useful. My sleep must haves are here. For breastfeeding, I'd say we got off to a good start thanks to some advance reading, the breastfeeding group at our hospital, and a home visit from lactation consultant and postpartum doula Alexa Beckham.

Otherwise, here goes.

1) Motherlove Nipple Cream
This stuff was a big help in the first weeks at home, when Axel's mouth was so tiny it was hard to get him to latch properly.

2) Boob Fast Food Nursing Bras
I don't think I realized just how tricky dressing for nursing could be. My summer pregnancy meant I could do a lot of sundress wearing...cut to August when, for the first ten days of Axel's life, I couldn't seem to figure out how to nurse without stripping down to my waist. These bras, and the Boob brand tank tops, have been really useful (even if they are a lot pricier than I'd like them to be.) I think nursing covers are pretty nonsensical, but these bras and tops mean you can be relatively discreet when you nurse in public.

3) Organic Cotton Nursing Pillow
Although a lot of people had recommended the Boppy pillow, I really liked this natural colored pillow (also snagged at Caribou Baby.) It was especially useful in the first month or so. Now I feel like my arms have gotten strong enough I don't really need the extra support.

4) Medela Pump In Style Breast Pump
My sister-in-law leant me her pump, and I've found it to be great. I bought the Medela bottles that come with it and they seem to work just fine as well.

5) The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding
I borrowed these books from Caribou the week of my due date and wound up skimming through them in the hospital. It helped me to understand some of the physiology of breastfeeding. My only gripe is that I spent the first week feeling very intimidated by the various, technical sounding "holds," and reading about them only made me feel more uncoordinated than ever. When I stopped over-thinking it it was much easier. I really am more of a visual learner so attending a breastfeeding support class was key.

What Got Me Through

Axel, 2012

I get that not everyone wants a totally natural childbirth. And I don’t judge people who don’t want one, I really don’t. My reasoning for not wanting an epidural was really about fear of the other interventions it can lead to (like pitocin and C-sections.) Really, I was more afraid of the knife than I was of labor.

I was also really curious. I wanted to experience every second of it (even when I was cursing Ina May), and I wanted to see what my body could do in its most natural state. I also wanted to get the best possible start on bonding and breastfeeding, and figured that doing it drug-free would help on both counts. Once I got over some of my initial fear (like that unsettling hospital tour), I started to look forward to labor, and feel like I was somehow prepared. 

Here are some of the things that I think contributed to a long but relatively easy natural  labor. 

Mental Preparation

I am a studier, not a go with the flow-er. So I took childbirth classes with Birth Day Presence, found a doula, and read as much as I could. From birth stories on sites like Marvelous Kiddo, to books like Birthing from Within, Hypnobirthing, Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth, I drank it all in and took what I could. I even watched some videos about Orgasmic Birth because, hey, why not! I was pretty sure that fear of the unknown would only serve to enhance pain and so I gathered as much info as I could from as many sources as possible. I also read literary memoirs like Making Babies by Anne Enright, Crawling: A Father's First Year, by Elisha Cooper, and Operating Instructions and Some Assembly Required, by Anne Lamott. 

Physical Preparation

I worked out with my trainer Paul Kostas twice a week doing circuits and weights until about 24 weeks. I also took weekly prenatal yoga classes at Kula and prenatal swimming at Aqua Beba. During our travels to the Virgin Islands we did a ton of hiking and swimming and snorkeling, and back home I was pretty active around the neighborhood. I really scaled back from my usual workouts in terms of frequency and intensity, mainly because I just stopped feeling up to it. But I think I maintained at least some of my fitness throughout the pregnancy and was feeling pretty good at the end as a result. I also didn’t shy away from helping with our move, or lugging groceries, or cleaning the house and so I think my mobility was pretty good all along.  

A Doula

Our doula, Grace MacNair, was amazing. Although I didn’t know her that well going into the process, I chose to trust her and am so grateful that I did. I really think that if I had gone to the hospital when I had first thought to, on Sunday morning, I would have had a completely different labor experience and been much more receptive to interventions. When you are feeling vulnerable, and a doctor suggests something, it’s hard not to listen. Instead, I got to do most of my labor at home, in a serene, beautiful environment, with good music and our cats milling around without being hooked up to a million machines and being out of my comfort zone. I was in pain, but relaxed, if that makes any sense. And by the time I did get to the hospital, I was in the zone and all my own hormones were helping to manage the intensity of it all. 

Hydration and Food

Really, this was key. I drank a lot of coconut water, Gatorade, and water throughout labor and managed to eat fairly well up until about 2 p.m. on Sunday. Later on, at the hospital, Grace gave me some dried apricots and that was helpful too. It’s funny because afterwards I was STARVING! The nurse brought me a sandwich almost immediately, and 4 hours after labor, in our recovery room, while Will slept, I ordered a huge breakfast of turkey bacon, turkey sausage, a bagel, OJ, and coffee. Nomnomnomnom. It was amazing. 

Pure Luck

Axel wasn’t a huge baby, and he was head down from 28 weeks onwards, in the right position, with his head facing my back. Although I occasionally worried about his small size and “measuring behind” at my grown scans, in the end he was just a little, but perfectly healthy and happy guy. On Friday morning I had an ultrasound to check his size and was told he had borderline low amniotic fluid and might need to be induced if it was lower by Monday. Luckily I went into labor over the weekend so we never needed to make that hard decision. I didn’t have gestational diabetes and was Strep B negative, so I didn’t need to worry about getting to the hospital within a certain window of time, and so the stars seemed to align in favor of a natural birth. I completely get that had I had other complications, things might not have gone as they did. 

Wanting It (and Wanting an Easy Recovery)

I think if I had been on the fence about an epidural, I might have gotten one, but I really, really wanted to do it this way. I felt a little strange telling people that beforehand (and got a few "Wait and see" reactions), but even that was also kind of a motivator (not wanting to slink back and say "Um, nevermind!") In the end, I’m so glad I stuck with my plan. No regrets. I felt amazing afterwards and really alert and kind of blissed out. Aside from one or two small stitches, there was nothing major to recover from. I was up and about and feeling pretty strong afterwards. On day two, I'd liken the feeling I had to the feeling what you get after the first intense day of downhill skiing of the season. All of my muscles were sore, but in a kind of great way.