Technical Difficulties

Williamsburg, 2012

Well, at some point after I wrote this post, the darn pump broke. This is really annoying because a) Medela won't repair anything after one year and b) breast pumps are exceedingly expensive. It's also annoying because I was feeling like we had hit our stride, feeding-wise, and I was feeling confident about heading back to work. We tried to get a manual pump to see if that would work, but, well, no. It's fine in a pinch for a bottle here and there, but there's no way I could pump 12-15 ounces at work using it without getting serious carpal tunnel. So it's time to pony up for a new one.

Obviously, not a crisis, but it did make me anxious about returning to work and all of the logistics of trying to maintain my milk supply and bring home enough ounces for Axel to have the next day. I know we will manage and that there are compelling reasons for me to go back to work (temporarily), but it is leaving me with that "There's not enough time!" panic...only four "school days" left until we fly to Seattle (and I go back to work the day we return.)

Aside from the milk issue, suddenly I am also stressing about things like scheduling doctor's appointments so I can get to the office on time.

I know some people get really restless to return to the adult world. Maybe it's because I've had so much support via the local moms' group, but frankly, I love being at home.

Axel chatters away in whatever baby language he speaks, and we are quite busy and content much of the time. I feel like the days fly by. It's hard not to feel that by going back there is so much I am going to be missing.

Fortunately, I am finished with this job November 30th, and so can explore options for doing more work at home. At the moment it's sort of an experiment we're willing to try, though that gnawing feeling makes me realize just how crazy the maternity leave policy (or lack thereof) is in this country.

Newborn Must Haves Part Two: Breastfeeding

Essentials, 2012

Last night we had dinner at our friends' place and I was asked to have a peek at her baby shower registry to see if there was anything she was missing. The truth is I am probably the wrong person to ask as my necessities might read something like this: 5 white onesies; Swedish wooden blocks. The end. The idea of a million specialized baby products generally freaks me out.

But in truth, there is some great "stuff" out there that I found useful. My sleep must haves are here. For breastfeeding, I'd say we got off to a good start thanks to some advance reading, the breastfeeding group at our hospital, and a home visit from lactation consultant and postpartum doula Alexa Beckham.

Otherwise, here goes.

1) Motherlove Nipple Cream
This stuff was a big help in the first weeks at home, when Axel's mouth was so tiny it was hard to get him to latch properly.

2) Boob Fast Food Nursing Bras
I don't think I realized just how tricky dressing for nursing could be. My summer pregnancy meant I could do a lot of sundress wearing...cut to August when, for the first ten days of Axel's life, I couldn't seem to figure out how to nurse without stripping down to my waist. These bras, and the Boob brand tank tops, have been really useful (even if they are a lot pricier than I'd like them to be.) I think nursing covers are pretty nonsensical, but these bras and tops mean you can be relatively discreet when you nurse in public.

3) Organic Cotton Nursing Pillow
Although a lot of people had recommended the Boppy pillow, I really liked this natural colored pillow (also snagged at Caribou Baby.) It was especially useful in the first month or so. Now I feel like my arms have gotten strong enough I don't really need the extra support.

4) Medela Pump In Style Breast Pump
My sister-in-law leant me her pump, and I've found it to be great. I bought the Medela bottles that come with it and they seem to work just fine as well.

5) The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding
I borrowed these books from Caribou the week of my due date and wound up skimming through them in the hospital. It helped me to understand some of the physiology of breastfeeding. My only gripe is that I spent the first week feeling very intimidated by the various, technical sounding "holds," and reading about them only made me feel more uncoordinated than ever. When I stopped over-thinking it it was much easier. I really am more of a visual learner so attending a breastfeeding support class was key.