Axel Foley

This weekend we dodged tornados, tackled Ikea, ate some Swedish meatballs, attended a moustache party, and did some work on the nursery (pics to come shortly!)

We are now contemplating a walk and watching Axel's namesake in Beverly Hills Cop. Incidentally, Will noted a cameo by Breaking Bad's Mike, aka Jonathan Banks.

11211 Love

Williamsburg, 2012

It's a bit of a culture shock transitioning from Maine to New York, but I am going with the flow. Embracing the mugginess (ugh!), stocking up on baked goods at Van Leeuwen, and chilling with Axel.  Oh, and drinking lots of iced coffee.

I kind of feel like a jerk pushing a stroller around and dominating the sidewalk with it, but now I am one of "those people" so I suppose I'd better get over it.

Maybe we will take the clunky contraption out to this Brooklyn open studios event this weekend.

One Month In

Williamsburg, 2012

Well, Will went back to the grind today and Axel and I survived our first day alone together (incidentally, his one month birthday...)

We got up and out and had breakfast together at the Verb, met up with my moms' group, and went for his check up with the pediatrician (he is now a robust 9 pounds and 8 ounces.) Lattes were consumed, emails were returned, and I managed to start a new book. Oddly, the day felt much like my days pre-Axel.

One month in I'm not sure how much wisdom I have to impart.

I can read his expressions much better now and have developed hunches about this and that. Of course, it can be tempting to rationalize infant behavior, when sometimes there really is no good reason for a crying jag or a fit of crankiness. Sometimes it's just because. You have to let go of your adult need to explain and solve and understand.

Still...hard to believe that something the size of a roasting chicken has such strong opinions. I am feeling pretty chipper, given the lack of sleep. Axel is one hungry fellow and I rarely sleep for more than an hour and 45 minutes at a time. If you had told me that a few months ago I would have laughed (or sobbed.) But I keep reminding myself that it's temporary, and that sooner or later his stomach will be big enough to hold larger meals that will tide him over for longer stretches of the night. When he sleeps from 7 'til 7, trust me, I will be popping the Champagne.

Back in the Saddle

Axel, 2012

We made it back to New York in one piece and have been busy reintegrating ourselves back into society. I was remarking to Will today that hipsters are pretty darn hilarious when you haven't seen them in a while. Today while walking down Bedford Avenue we overheard snippets of some pretty hysterical conversations, like "This year I'm really trying to rebrand myself," and "I just want to get into fashion!"

Comic relief aside, being home is a bit discombobulating. We had barely gotten settled in our new apartment before Axel was born and then were away for nearly all of August, so it still feels a bit new. Yesterday I was sort of wandering around the place like a lost puppy thinking things like: "Where do these people keep the glasses?" Oh yeah...we are these people.

Since Will heads back to work tomorrow, we've been trying to unpack and get organized. My little bedside station is up and ready and the kitchen is stocked. Hoping all of this becomes second nature soon. I think Axel is going through a little growth spurt so the more I can do to streamline things at home the better for all of us. Off to cook a giant lasagne to freeze.

Four Weeks Old

Axel, Maine, 2012

A short post because we are on the road, travelling home to New York via Boston. It was sad to leave Maine behind but I think I can say we did it in style (with a weekend packed full of wedding festivities, the requisite pit stop at L.L. Bean, copious amounts of bacon, and some house decorating at my mom's.)

Axel has been a great vagabond this month and has been quite content to sleep in three different houses in the last three nights. I think he's just about ready for his induction into the gypset. Nonetheless, I think we are all craving a return to routine and the familiar grit of Brooklyn.

He has grown so much since we left New York and we've gotten much more sure footed along the way, delirium notwithstanding. With all the milestones we've marked in this last month (first sail, first bottle, first bath, first babysitters), I feel like going home to normalcy will be that much easier.

Of course, when I think that four weeks ago I gave birth to this little creature, my mind is blown.

Blue Moon

Maine, 2012

Tonight we wrapped up the summer (and celebrated the second full moon in a month) at our good friends' wedding. It was also our first night out without the babe. We were a little bleary eyed at the festivities but were thrilled to be able to go, as when we first got the invite we had no idea how we would fare in our first few weeks as parents. We dutifully bored our table companions by talking about Axel, Axel, and more Axel. What can I say, he's the topic du jour.

P.S. Aren't the flowers lovely? By Poppies and Posies, who also did the flowers for our own wedding last summer.

Countdown

In East Boothbay today I was joking that the wholesome sea air, lack of graffiti, and absence of absurd fashion displays was beginning to make me nervous.

In 4 days, we head back to Brooklyn, with mixed feelings. On the one hand, it will be wonderful to sleep in our own bed and to have some time together as a nuclear family after so much socializing. As much as I love Maine, I am looking forward to being on our home turf again.

Axel, 2012

On the other hand, in a week, Will heads back to work after a month of paternity leave and I have to figure out how to keep this sometimes, er, melodramatic baby happy all day long on my own.

I think I have a handle on things. Mostly.

More on Maine

A few friends have asked me for my tips on places to stay in Maine and I am working on a post. In the mean time, I found a great collection of Maine images today on one of my favorite blogs, Honestly WTF. I've been meaning to check out Salt Water Farm for some time and now I have one more reason to. This trip, I've also been a huge fan of our local general store, The Walpole Barn.

Lately

Maine, 2012

Just a few scenes from the little BBQ we went to last night. I have good things to say about mosquito netting. Our neighbors were moving to Burma and gave us this mini car seat net, which works great on the stroller too. It makes us much more mobile up here!

New Order

Maine, 2012

Yesterday my mom was asking me if having a baby was what I expected it to be. My answer was yes, though I would say I've learned a few things in the last several weeks...

I'm much more patient and relaxed than I thought I'd be, for one.

Aside from a few moments of "Aaaaargh!!!!" at 2 a.m. or when Axel is unexpectedly screechy and furious (just as I am trying to get something done) I feel like he has needs that I can meet. Although I have the normal new mother worries, I also feel like he is a tough little fellow and will be okay.

I don't think I'd have felt nearly so calm if I had had a baby at, say, 24, or without such a supportive husband. I feel very fortunate that when it's all just too much, I get to pass Axel to Will and say "You have the conch!"

The fact that we are both grown ups who are equally invested in this little boy makes things a million times easier. It sounds trite, but it helps that we are both looking after one another as well as the babe. When I think "But I've had the baby for four hours," I try to nip it in the bud and ask for a break instead of just stewing over it. It helps that when I look harried, Will reminds me to take some time for myself.

When things get tough in the middle of the night I try to remember all the endless stretches of time I had in my twenties doing exactly as I pleased. I am glad I became a mother at 33...and had plenty of time for plain old self-indulgence as I learned to be an adult with my ducks (somewhat) in a row. Without that decade to get to know myself really really well, I'd certainly feel a little pushed to the limits by all this responsibility.

The other lesson I'm learning is that I can't be too frustrated with the new reality of doing things in very small increments. It's kind of the ultimate living in the moment-ness. Completing tiny tasks...returning an email, or making a cup of tea, or taking a walk (all without the expectation of doing 500 other tasks afterwards) is a big adjustment. But I can actually see that it's good for me to sloooow down and just accept that this is how life is right now, and that's okay. It's a very yoga-ish mentality and that resonates with me.

Lastly, well, I think I am learning to stick to our philosophy of saying yes to pretty much everything we want to say yes to. That means the dinner out, the long road trip, the boat ride. Even if it seems ambitious and we have more gear in tow, saying yes makes this whole baby raising seem more like a seamless part of our lives. Meltdowns included.