Inner Monologue

Williamsburg, 2014

When I'm walking around the neighborhood, trying to get Oscar to sleep (or keep him asleep), I have all sorts of lucid thoughts about blog posts I'd like to write, but when it actually comes to getting a free, quiet moment on my laptop, I'm usually quite scattered.

At any rate, I was thinking about how many emotions you go through in an average day while parenting two babies. It usually goes something like this (in no particular order.)

Both boys are sleeping and fed and content; we have won the parenting Olympics. Let's have four kids. And get a puppy. 

I wonder if I could fall asleep, standing up, while waiting for the traffic light to change. 

Axel and Oscar make my heart melt with joy. Could any experience be better than watching them (fill in the blank: suck their hands, make a painting, eat yogurt with a spoon, play with stickers, look at their owl mobile, say "Mommy!")?

Where is the baby? Gah, his bassinet is empty. Oh, yeah, I'm holding him. 

Our house is a bomb site. 

I've cleaned up; our house is miraculously clean. We are really keeping it together. 

Axel does not want to go in his stroller, eat his carrots, or put on his shirt. I am totally depleted. 

We're not those people who stop doing everything because we have children. Look at us traveling / drinking wine / going on adventures! See how wonderful the pictures are? We have cracked the code. 

We will never go to a restaurant with both children again. 

In fact, it feels like we may never go to a restaurant again, without children. We have only gone on 4 dates this year. How did we become those people?

I cannot be bothered to go on a date because that means I might have to stay up past 9 p.m..

Sitting on the bench at the playground on a 60 degree day is pretty darn blissful. We are so so lucky to have these beautiful, healthy children. My heart is bursting with happiness.

I mailed a letter. I'm so on top of my to do list. 

Axel is jumping on the couch. Cue visions of him in the E.R., getting stitches. I cannot handle anyone having to get stitches today. 

I wonder if I will ever finish a book again? 

Oscar is growing out of his newborn clothing. I want more babies. We are stretched past our limit. Eh, what's a little more chaos?