Thursday, November 1, 2012


Williamsburg, 2012

My tentative return to work yesterday was an epic disaster.

Car service into town was ok, if slow due to the lack of traffic lights below 39th Street. But on the way home, gridlock in Midtown and gas shortages meant it was impossible to get a scheduled ride or a cab home.

I wound up taking a bus to 26th Street and then walking the rest of the way home in the pitch black with no cell phone service, which was my only option at that point. Although there's an element of coziness and camaraderie to the situation downtown, that walk is not something I'd like to experience again. I've rarely been as happy as I was to see Brooklyn as I was last night, walking home over the Williamsburg Bridge.

Of course, the fallout from the storm is much larger than my work situation and plenty of people are in truly dire circumstances. But the new reality in the city has nonetheless made a hard transition all but impossible.

Last week, my first week back, I felt stretched beyond my limits under perfectly normal circumstances. Add a scary and uncertain commute into the mix, maybe another 2 hours on either side of my day, and it just feels untenable.

Working ten to twelve hour days with a three month old is intense. Doing so and then not knowing how or when you'll get home is another thing altogether. Walking that far when you are operating on 4-or-so hours of sleep for the past three months is not a simple endeavor. Pre-baby, I would have taken it all in stride, even thinking of it as a bit of an adventure. But now it just makes me feel really vulnerable.

One more obstacle to an already fragile equilibrium and I feel like curling up in a ball and not leaving home again anytime soon. Fortunately my boss was understanding and I did not go in today and nor will I tomorrow. I am playing it by ear for next week, hoping things start to settle back to normal. In the meantime I am grateful to be at home with the little fellow.

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